Three principles continually pop up in my awareness as I do the work of a change agent–coaching and organization development. Call them “laws” if you wish, but I think of them as useful notions to keep in mind when guiding the work of change.

1.

In the realm of human activity, things change only after they are accepted for what they are. This principle is a slight variation of The Paradoxical Theory of Change. At a very simple level, the principle was illustrated when my wife and I decided to change our kitchen countertop only after we accepted the fact that the countertop that was in our home when we moved in was ugly and getting uglier.

At a deeper level, during a conversation with a man whose female friend had asked if he wanted to commit to their relationship, he told me, “I just don’t know, but I really should know.” He was paralyzed by agitation and frustration.

I asked, “Why should you know?”

My question stunned him. He had not considered that not knowing was what it was and that he might accept that fact. When he did accept that he didn’t know, his agitation and frustration disappeared, he called his female friend, told her that he didn’t know if he wanted to commit to their relationship or not, and they decided together to go on with their lives as friends.

That things change in the realm of human activity only after they are accepted for what they are is the reason that customer and employee satisfaction surveys are important. It is the reason that W. Edwards Deming insisted that fear be driven from the workplace: where there is fear there is likely to be denial or avoidance of what is. It is the reason that a recovering addict must say, “I am an addict.” It is the reason that honest feedback is essential to the growth of a person.

2.

Change occurs as a function of distress, vision, capacity for change, and achievable first steps. This principle was elucidated by Richard Beckhard as the Formula of Change Equation, which has several variations. My own favorite version is this:

D x V x C x F > R

The equation shows that change can only occur when the product of distress, D, vision, V, capacity for change, C, and achievable first steps, F, is greater than resistance to change, R. Notice that if any of the four variables on the left of the equation is zero, change is not possible.

This formula often explains why a desirable change just isn’t happening, and it offers the advice that, if you want to increase the probability of change, you can increase distress, vision, and capacity for change, or find achievable first steps.

3.

People are more likely to act on their own conclusions than on someone else’s. This is one reason that organizational visions, missions, values, and strategies often fall far short in implemention: people are asked to act on someone else’s conclusion. It is why really good coaches and counselors guide clients to their own decisions rather than offer advice. It provides underpinning for permission marketing, quality initiatives, and religious institutions that are based on facilitating inquiry rather than providing answers.

All three of these principles have become important touchstones for me. What principles guide your work?