The Coordinating Conjunction Preference Life Orientation Indicator

I have an idea for a new, fresh, and incredibly powerful personal growth test. It is based on my observation that people prefer one coordinating conjunction–and, or, or but–above the others. There is a hypothesis to be tested by lots and lots of research before the test can be published: every person’s preferred coordinating conjunction is indicative of his or her life orientation. I will call the test the Coordinating Conjunction Preference Life Orientation Indicator - or the CPLOI.

With due respect to Myers and Briggs, the CPLOI will be more than a mere personality test. It will indicate how you and I orient ourselves towards life itself. I feel certain that conjunction-preference has deep personal significance. This is big stuff!

It all started when I heard poet Robert Bly tell psychologist Marianne Woodman that, “And is the favorite word of Jungians.” “Wait a minute,” I thought, “Does that mean that I think like a Jungian?” And is a favorite word of mine; I like it because it ties things together and conveys a sense of wholeness. “Would you like to go to a ballgame or a movie?” “I’d like to go to a ballgame and a movie!”

Then I noticed that my wife, Melanie’s, favorite word seems to be or. “We could have Chinese, or I heard about this new Italian place, or we have steaks for grilling in the freezer, or…” I am not much of an or person, so I can’t speak with any great authority about what or people get from using the word often. I think it has something to do with keeping options open until the last second, or offering choices to others. But I’m not sure.

I have also known lots of but people, and (notice the use of and here) I must say that they are my least favorite types. To my and-ish ears, they always seem to need to be right at my expense, and seem to want to divide things up into right and wrong instead of seeking wholeness. That might just be a prejudice of mine. I also (a synonym for and) recall having once heard that, when but is used, the intent is that, “Everything before the but is bull.” “You’re a great employee Mary, but…”

There is another coordinating conjunction, of course. Nor. Nobody uses it though, so nor people are probably such a small subset of humanity that they can safely be ignored.

The next steps in development of the CPLOI will be developing questionnaire items that sort people into ands, ors, or buts, and fleshing out the characteristics of each type. Then I’ll have to run some correlational studies. I’ll probably need a grant.

I know that after hearing about this you will want immediate results, but and I must ask you to please be patient. Life orientation is a really big deal, and I will have to be duly diligent and very thorough. Also, my marketing plan will have to include some well-known names, and that takes time. I’m pretty sure that the Dalai Lama is an and, Jerry Seinfeld is an or, and Dick Chaney is a but. My prejudices may be influencing those guesses, so I’ll need independent confirmation.

In the meantime I suggest that you begin to notice your preference for and, or, or but, and examine what influence that preference has in your life.

And please contribute to my research by reporting your findings in a comment to this post.

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 at 6:06 pm ◊ Comment or trackback
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◊ Filed in: Talking & Listening | Getting Silly | Life's Lessons


13 Responses to “The Coordinating Conjunction Preference Life Orientation Indicator”

  1. Astha Says:

    You might just be on to something here. I can’t believe I did it (curiosity tends to take better of me!)- I counted the number of times I used ‘and’ (182) versus ‘but’ (31) in the last 15 posts I wrote. That’s seriously skewed! Perhaps language necessitates use of ‘and’ more than ‘but’.
    But beyond the trivia the three conjunction do seem to capture fundamental relational paradigms- the ability to hold contradictions together (and); the ability to contemplate alternatives (or) and the ability to contrast (but).
    And in the defense of the ‘but’ters- it might be a critical step before narrowing down to decisions.

  2. mel starrs Says:

    I’d say I’m an ‘or’. This can be annoying for others, but I think it’s to do with seeing possibilities and options, and making sure all have been explored before settling on a decision. If it helps, I’ve also been described as an idealist, INTJ and a monitor evaluator on the Belbin team thingy. I have a slight addiction to personality tests - like I say, exploring ALL the options and not just settling for one - definately an ‘or’…

  3. Dick Richards Says:

    Wow. Thanks for the quick responses.

    Astha - I can\’t believe you did that either, and I admire your dedication (notice the and instead of a but. I also like \”fundamental relational paradigm.\” It made me consider changing the name of the test from Coordinating Conjunction Preference Life Orientation Indicator to Coordinating Conjunction Preference Fundamental Relational Paradigm Indicator. But (had to us it there) CPLOI is something people can actually say — see-ploy — as opposed to CPFRPI.

    Mel - Thanks for acknowledging that being an or can be annoying to others. It opens up a whole new way of describing each type — how they can be annoying.

  4. Michelle Says:

    oh boy!

    Now I shall be paranoid every time I write a “but” into one of my sentences!

    HAHAHAHA

    I do not want to be a “But’er” but I suspect that I may well be - given that I come from a large extended family of extremely argumentative “But’er’s”

    But then a “But’er” wouldn’t melt in your mouth now would it? *smirk*

    AND…. I do like Astha’s suggestion that some “But’ers” need to ‘but’ in in order to make clarifications for decision making! I think that’s where my preferences for “but” lie perhaps.

    I need to go count my CPLOI in my own blog now! Gotta prove either way if I’m and, or, or but now!

    *Please tell me this is actually serious stuff here! I find myself laughing hysterically over this and will be MOST embarrassed if it’s actually supposed to be genuine science!*

    Hey Mel: Hi :) I’m addicted to personality tests too! LOVE them! They’re great fun AND sometimes enlightening too eh?

    Mitch

  5. Dick Richards Says:

    Mitch - fear not! Although I do sense that there are differences among and-ers, or-ers, and but-ers, I did write the post with an intent toward silliness. In other words, have a good laugh, AND go take your conjunction inventory. Who knows what you might discover!

    As for “genuine science” — don’t expect that from me. Ever. Maybe a correlational study or two here and there, but not much more. I’m not a big believer in objectivity.

  6. Roy Blumenthal Says:

    I THINK I’m an ‘and’ sort-of-a-dude.

    BUT… there is a certain power that the word ‘but’ has when it’s used correctly. It’s a great word for putting the brakes on runaway positivity. Heheheheeh.

    No… seriously… there are times when rampant positive-speak is really no good, and a jolt, or shift needs to take place.

    And BUT does just that. It forces one to EXAMINE alternatives.

    ‘Or’ doesn’t do that. OR causes one to NOTICE alternatives, but not necessarily to examine them.

    (I have to say, Dick… when I read the post, I thought you had your tongue wedged in your cheek, and that you were seeing who’s paying attention to your blog. I’m not ENTIRELY convinced that I’m wrong. BUT I don’t mind… it’s provocative. And/or enjoyable.)

    Blue skies
    love
    Roy

  7. Dick Richards Says:

    Roy — thanks for adding the perspective on “but.” Never thought of it that way.

    I did have my tongue wedged in my cheek, and I also wanted to have some fun with this. Having said that, how we use language (consciously or unconsciously) is a window into our internal workings, and I love exploring that. I see personality, culture, and language as a self-reinforcing system that might be changed by changing something in any of those three arenas. Which is why, here in the US, women want to be called “women” instead of “girls” and people of color are sensitive to the labels used to describe them.

    So, quite beyond the content of what we say, our way of saying it can be a powerful indicator of our internal workings.

  8. Carriekris Says:

    I am an American living in London. I am an “or” person. Since I am someone who appreciates “closure” (project manager type), I drive toward setting priorities and making final choices (Pick ONE - A or B or C). At times, I perceive the “and” people as seeing so many possibilities that they often don’t get anything done, and the “but” people as always pointing out why something should not be done. I know that I need input from these people to point out better alternatives (”and”) and stop me from doing something stupid (”but”) but this necessary diversity of approach is not always appreciated at the time.

    My husband was born in India, lived in US for 20+ years and has US, citizenship and is living in UK. He is definitely an “and” person. His typical answer to a question I might ask “This afternoon - do you want to go to a play or on a hike?” is “Could Do”.

  9. Jeff Lilly Says:

    This is neat stuff. As a linguist, though, I’d add a couple of words of caution. You want to compare the way people use “and”, “but” and “or” with some standard or average for the population, and you want to separate spoken language from written language.

    I suspect that “and” is more frequent for everyone overall. This is probably not because more people are “and” people, but just because “and” is a more useful word. “The” is more frequent than “a”, and “car” is more frequent than “kiwi”, just because they’re more useful words. So, for example, if you want to say with confidence that you’re an “and” person, you want to be sure that your usage of “and” is high *compared with other people*. If you want to find out what the average rates for “and”, “but” and “or” are for written language, the way to do that is to count them in a standard linguistic or NLP corpus, such as the Brown corpus. I can help you get that done, if you want.

    It would be harder to find out what the conjunction rates are for spoken language — which is too bad, since I suspect it would be more indicative of spontaneous personality. You’d have to record everything you say for a day or two, ideally, and compare that against corpora of spoken language. Again, I can help you with that, if you’re curious.

    Neat idea!

    Jeff

  10. Dick Richards Says:

    That’s really helpful Jeff. It seems that, the way I am speaking of and-or-but, there is an element of choice or implied choice present. So the and in, “I went to a ballgame and had a hot dog,” doesn’t count.

    I’ll take a bit more time with your reply than I can right now and get back. Stay tuned. I like where you are headed with this and your offer to, “help get that done.”

  11. stacey Says:

    I don’t trust, or like, “but” people. I find them insincere, and they generally have ulterior motives.

    For example,

    “This is not intended as a threat, but …”

    “I love you, but …”

    Give me a break. Stop couching behind platitudes. State what you really believe.

    ‘Everything before the but is bull.’ Whoever coined that phrase should be a billionaire.

  12. Phil Says:

    Dick,

    You’re on to something. I learned the power of “and” and “but” in the early 90’s. The use of “and” vice “but” goes to inclusivitiy vice the powerful negative (my take) of “but”, refuting (exclusivity) all prior to its use. I’m an ENFP. In any really important conversation, with students or just about anyone really, if I want to keep them in the conversation I try to use “and” in my talk, not but. I believe too many of us were taught to win in almost any circumstance and using “but” is a form of tactic or weapon - helps us win. And, winning I learned a long time ago is not all it’s cracked up to be.

  13. Dick Richards Says:

    Thanks Phil. Stay tuned to the blog. I\’m planning to soon summarize all of the comments in a sort of \”here\’s what we\’ve learned so far\” post. Your take on the use of \”and\” to keep the dialogue open is really fascinating.

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