Great Question #7
Another in a series of questions to stimulate reflection about your life and work…
Questions one through six:
Is my genius on purpose? (more…)
What kind of me is my work creating? (more…)
For what has my life been preparing me? (more…)
Am I making good use of my life? (more…)
Who needs my gift now? (more…)
Do I value my contribution to the human condition? (more…)
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◊ Filed in: Is Your Genius At Work? | Great Questions | Life Purpose
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November 27th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Interesting that you’d pose this question today Dick. I am taking the time through the end of November to figure this very question out for myself.
November 28th, 2006 at 8:44 am
Phil - I admire your courage. This is a rich and challenging question.
First of all, those who ask it need to have some idea of their genius and purpose. Then they need to sense what is and isn’t supportive.
And finally, they need to decide who ought to be “left behind” and what that means. Might it mean abandoned? Or might it mean a letting go of expectations that the other person can not or will not meet? In any event, it definitely means a change in relationship.
Thanks for letting us know that you are working with the question.
November 28th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Wow! Super Q, Dick! Ridiculously forward. I like it. Thanks!
November 29th, 2006 at 7:43 am
Troy - “ridiculously forward” - I do like that phrase!
November 29th, 2006 at 9:47 am
yesterday when i read this question, it didnt ring any bell in my mind. may be not much. today i am reading it once again, and it makes sense to me. especially, what you said above on “change in relationship”. I am currently in a relationship which is kind of thwarting my purpose, atleast trying to. This question is bringing me perspective to the problem. Thanks Dick !
November 29th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
New Year Preparation - Clean House…
Some people do spring cleaning in, well, spring. I prefer to do it before I start a new endeavor. In preparation for the New Year, you will need to make room for your new adventures and opportunities in your life.
Clean Up Your Schedule
Start with free…
November 29th, 2006 at 9:04 pm
Seven Great Questions…
One of the things I love about newsreaders and RSS feeds is the intriguing posts that appear before you….
November 30th, 2006 at 10:54 am
Vijaya - I’m pleased that bells are ringing, and to offer a useful perspective. Usually, when a relationship is thwarting us, one of two things has to be discarded; the relationship, or our own expectations about it.
December 4th, 2006 at 6:00 am
Hi, Dick,
The series of questions is right on target. “Who supports your genius and who must be left behind” is one of those that really prompts the need for a good coach or trusted friend to walk alongside. The first part of the question is pretty positive , ans well as exciting to clarify. When one starts to examine “who do I leave behind?”, the guilt and fear factors kick in:
1. “Who do I think I am to leave someone behind?”
2. If working for an organization, it gets played out as “Everyone else is happy and this is a good place to work. Who do I think I am? Something must be wrong with ME.”
3. When the decision becomes clear, the mental wrestling still continues. And understandably so, because we’re talking about leaving relationships or at least changing the known nature of relationships even if they are not supporting our genius.
4. Finally, we have to struggle with the possibility that we will, in fact, be successful at using our genius. When that moment of clarity arrives we are confronted with the real question: “Am I really willing to live out my genius knowing that my life and relationships will no longer be the same? Or, am I willing to rationalize the comfort of the status quo and spend the rest of my life saying “Well, I know I could have________ but I chose not to because _____________.”
I think this may be one of the ultimate sadnesses (if that’s a word): Choosing to become “less” and then spending a lifetime convincing one’s self and others what a good decision it was.
It takes courage and support to do #7. For those with a genius for encouragement, here is a place to use it.
December 4th, 2006 at 8:33 am
Steve - a good coach or trusted friend is almost always good to have walking alongside.
I purposely do not elaborate on the questions that I am raising here, offering readers the opportunity to make of them what they will without my intervention. And I am always delighted when someone (like you) elaborates their own take on a question. Thanks! Your thoughts match up pretty closely with my own.
I also think that there are good reasons for any person to choose to be “less.” That is usually a value decision — valuing, say, security above self-fulfillment.
And I’m intrigued that you used quotation marks around the word. Many people who believe themselves to be choosing to be less later discover that the “less” is in fact more than they imagined and the right path after all. What we want is often not what we need.
There are both true calls and ego calls. The “ultimate sadness” that you speak of is very often a result of inability to “let go” of ego gratification in the face of a call that emanates from someplace beyond the ego’s ability to recognize it. I’ve known several people who were able to do that “letting go” and felt grateful for having done so.
When becoming less is a failure of courage, however, that is a different thing.
Thanks again for inspiring all of this.
December 4th, 2006 at 9:04 am
Dick,
I liked the fact that you noted the in-quotations “less.” For sure, value decisions may lead to less–and increased peace and satisfaction. Coaching within the context of organizational life, it touches me when I watch clients move toward the realization that their genius isn’t attached to upward mobility. The work then becomes facilitating a real discussion between the management and the individual that acknowledges the genius; allows for some exploration regarding how and where else it could be used in the organization; and then helping to make that happen.
Or not. Depending upon the organization, there may honestly not be another place for a good match. However, I’ve been blessed to work with well-known companies who are willing to invest in a transition outside the company. They simply see that as good business, goodwill, and evidence of their seriousness about honest relatonships.
December 4th, 2006 at 10:16 am
Steve - all I have to say to that is “Thanks for doing what you do!” Those “real discussions” between individuals and their managers are really precious when they focus on questions of how the individual can become both more satisfied and productive, and how the organization can make best use of what the person has to offer. All of that usually has little to do with what appears on a resume or work history, so the dialogue is imperative.